Time Bandits – the gloriously fun return of a fantasy classic

Kevin’s bedroom quakes. His wardrobe starts to shudder. It opens … on to a scene of a Viking warrior being chased by some angry Saxons. The warrior leaps into the safety of Kevin’s bedroom and Kevin seizes his chance. “I was wondering,” he says to his bearskin-clad visitor, “if you could tell me why the Vikings suddenly stopped their murderous ways and adopted agrarianism?”
Which is Kevin (Kal-El Tuck), an 11-year-old history fanatic, and the show – Time Bandits, a reimagining for TV by Taika Waititi, Jemaine Clement and Iain Morris of Terry Gilliam’s 1981 hit fantasy film – in a nutshell. Funny, charming, confident and still channelling a Python-esque welcome to any form of oddity in the world. Aesthetically it is perhaps inevitably more polished than the original, but enough of the Heath Robinson vibe has been retained to give comfort to any parents watching with the children at whom this is largely aimed.
Kevin is a contented creature. He has a bedroom full of model figures, books and medieval costumes – and a brain even fuller of fascinating facts about everything from Maya football to the Battle of the Tiger’s Mouth. He plays Risk by himself. And his parents take him to sites of historic interest for his birthdays – Woodhenge this year – despite finding him and his interests inexplicable. “Tech is the future!” says his dad (James Dryden). “Use your phone – you could be chatting to someone else while we’re talking!” But when adventure comes calling, via the bedroom that turns out to be a portal to everywhere and every when, Kevin is not afraid to go with it.
As fans of the film know, he falls in with a group of time-travelling thieves, here led by Lisa Kudrow as snippy leader Penelope. They have stolen a map from the Supreme Being, which should give them access to treasure from across at least four dimensions – if Widgit (Roger Jean Nsengiyumva) ever learns how to read it properly.
What follows is a series of glorious romps as Kevin and his new companions jump off cliffs and into whirlpool-portals to find themselves in Stonehenge (under construction by a building team that can’t tell him what it’s for – “Very much a venue for hire” – but who have already set up a gift shop), disturbing pterodactyl nests in prehistoric forests, being hailed as dragon slayers in medieval villages, being invited inside the Trojan horse, getting frozen on Neanderthal plains, being honoured guests at a Maya palace, imperilled on 19th-century Chinese pirate ship and much, much more.
Meanwhile, news of the stolen map reaches villainous ears. Pure Evil (Jemaine Clement) and his minions realise that a mapless Supreme Being is a weakened Supreme Being, and if Pure Evil could steal the map from the time-travelling gang, he would have opportunities for mischief like never before. “Rats would eat cats! Everywhere you go would be up! Water would be acid! And everything will be sharp.” He sends Fianna the Huntress (Rachel House) to lie for thousands of years as a rock at the site of Kevin’s future house so that she can destroy the thieves and steal the map when they finally get there. This adds a nice sense of jeopardy and provides the opportunity for her red glowing eyes to stare ominously out of the darkness, without which I do not think any children’s fantasy series can truly be said to be complete.
There are so many lovely touches as the main narratives unspool. Kevin berating himself for trusting a secondary source after being proved wrong in one of his pronouncements on history. His sister Saffron (Kiera Thompson) rolling her eyes at the broken wood and rubble left behind at their house by various time-travelling marauders and setting the Roomba off to deal with it. Penelope’s commentary on their situations (“Instantly caught”), making full use of Kudrow’s mastery of the muttered aside. Everyone stealing nothing but vases when they loot Troy. The gang’s fighter Bittelig (Rune Temte), with the strength of seven men, being carried past the rest after his capture by soldiers. “There were eight,” he says.
The series is clearly a labour of love for Waititi, Clement and Morris, who have brought all their many skills to bear on it. It is genuinely family-friendly viewing; a phrase that usually means “everyone will be equally bored but at least there’s no sex to embarrass the children or swearing for the parents to pretend to care about”, but here means that there is something fun and funny for everyone going on all the time (and still without sex or swearing).
Gilliam was not involved in the production, but he will surely be pleased to see his legacy so beautifully preserved, in all its daftness and with all its wit.